I want to dig into the Word; yet so often I do not even crack it open for five minutes.
I want to give all the glory for every good thing in my life to Jesus; yet I continue finding myself craving the praise of man and thriving on it.
I want to live a life of purity and righteousness; yet I find myself living in compromise.
I want to give sacrificially out of every beautiful gift I have been given, but I find myself holding tightly to the wealth.
I want to trust God completely for my future and the plans He has for me; yet I find myself living in fear and questioning.
I want to serve God all the days of my life; yet I find myself enslaved to my schedule and too busy to lend a helping hand or a listening ear.
I want to walk in humility, completely surrendered to my Lord Jesus; yet I am a selfish pig, completely obsessed with my own longings and desires.
~Oh God, I feel ashamed to even show my face. I am not worthy of You. I am not worthy of Your love! Do You see how I have spit on Your face? How I have turned my back on You and walked my own direction? Oh wretched woman that I am! Will You forgive me? Can we start all over again? What is this grace You give, which tells me "yes" and receives me with arms outstretched time and time again? Oh, thank You Father! For I am undeserving. Yet, I choose today not to wallow in self-pity... not to linger long in the Valley of Doom. Lift me out of the miry clay, that I may rise again to walk in the Calling You have for me. Today, I choose to serve you whole-heartedly and love you the best I know how, my God and my Father! Yes, the battle is raging, but MY KING is VICTORIOUS! Amen!
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( 2.9 / 87 )Well, I had my follow-up check-up with my oncologist today. Everything is all clear. I see him again in 6 months. Also exciting in my world of pathetically small and rolly veins, both the CT tech and lab tech hit my veins on the FIRST stick with no digging! It's a record. The lab girls told me it was my lucky day... I should go buy a lottery ticket. I did not, but I did praise Jesus for a very happy day!
This month marks 2 years of being CANCER FREE!!! PRAISE GOD! JUMP UP AND DOWN! DANCE A JIG! yeah, I'm excited.
It was good to see my friends in the lab and cancer center again. While sometimes I wish I didn't have memories of fighting cancer, I thank God for the lessons I learned and the people I met. I have been working on compiling a book based on my blogs/journals during my cancer treatments. As I look back at God's provision in so many little things... His tender love and care for me... the ups and downs through which He remained ever-faithful... I am greatful for the experience. God is good. All the time. For real. And today in particular, I am finding abundant reasons to give Him praise!
P.S. A great big THANK YOU to everyone who has faithfully prayed for me over the last 2 1/2 years. I wouldn't be here today without you!
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( 3.1 / 90 )[I know I have not posted a blog here in a long time, but I'm hoping to get back into the habit of posting short tid-bits about the things God is laying on my heart. If you would like to receive regular updates about my music, please sign up for our email list at www.ScenicRoots.com Thanks!]
Today, I found this prayer from A.W. Tozer's The Pursuit of God which is the cry of my heart for the next year. I pray it will resonate with you as well. I would also like to mention that my 2-year check-up with my cancer doctor on Wednesday. Prayers would be appreciated for a clear scan!
Oh God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. Oh God, I want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee. Amen.
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( 3 / 149 )I got another clean bill of health from my dr. today. Had a CT scan, lab work, and physical exam. Everything looks great-- no evidence of cancer anywhere in my body. I don't have to go back for another 6 months! Praise God!!! Thanks to each of you who have been holding me up in prayer over the last 2 years. Our God is awesome!
Life is precious. Please treat it like it is! Take time to pause and enjoy the precious gift of simply being alive. It's so easy to take for granted the fact that you are living and breathing, but please don't. Thank God for every moment you have on this earth and make sure you are using your time here wisely. I'll get off my soap-box now; I'm just really passionate about being alive and well!
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( 2.9 / 233 )This is a big week in my life. Yesterday I turned 22. Tomorrow I have my next CT scan to make sure my cancer is still gone. Looking back over the past 22 years, it's hard to believe how many different things I've done. I was going through some old pictures and it was like a trip down memory lane. God has blessed our family in so many ways, even in the midst of various trials! His faithfulness and guidance through every day of my life have been so very apparent. Each day on this earth is a special gift to be treasured. Sometimes we forget, but I try hard to remember this important truth.
I would appreciate your prayers for me tomorrow-- that all the IV's/blood draws go easily and that the CT scan shows no evidence of cancer in my body. I would also like to ask you to pray for Amber. We took her to a new dr. who specializes in yeast/fungal disorders last week. This dr. was convinced that she has a yeast/fungal problem and that it can easily be taken care of, hopefully within 3 months. She put her on several new medications which are making her really sick right now, so please pray that she will have strength and stamina to get through the next few days until the yucky side-effects wear off. Also pray that the new medicines will be effective and she will start feeling good and being pain-free!
I will post a report tomorrow or Thursday. Thanks for stopping by and checking in! May your eyes be open to the good things God has in store for you this week.
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