Second, I got a new dulcimer in the mail!! Well, it's really just a trial instrument, but it's new and I'm excited! It's fully chromatic and I'm SSSSOOO excited to mess with it. The possibilities are endless. I can play in Bb now-- and I won't even have to leave any notes out! :-D
I also had my one-week check-up at the Cancer Center today. They said I'm doing fine and gave me some advice for dealing with some of the side-effects. I have 2 more neupagen shots--I mean Twinkle Juice-- after today, until the next dose of chemo!! WooHoo! It is starting to make my bones ache a lot. My low-back is the worst, along with the long-bones in my legs. My bones actually throb; I never knew that was possible! I guess I learn something new everyday!
God and I had a long talk yesterday. I love how God has 3 distinct Persons--the Trinity--and each One has specific characteristics which become especially meaningful at different times in my life. Last night, the person of God as my Father, my Daddy, was amazing. I have a wonderful relationship with my earthly dad which I suppose makes it easy for me to view God as a loving and caring Father. That became even more real to me last night as I was praying. My Heavenly Daddy loves me so much. He only wants the best for me, His beloved little girl, and He knows how to provide that. He asks, "Do you trust Me enough to let me take you through the pain?" Yes, yes I do. I don't want to hurt and I cry out when the pain begins to overwhelm me, but I trust Him. Because I know my Daddy would never make me do anything that wasn't the absolute best for me. He sees the big picture. He knows what I need. And He loves me so much that He is going to provide for all those needs. He will do the same for you, dear friend, because He loves you that much too!
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( 3 / 62 )MEDICINE: We got the approval to get my Neupagen shots at home. They are going to be delivered on Thursday. Hooray! It really is a miracle. Dad’s insurance has been an incredible blessing to us.
Dad started working at the Post Office about a year and a half ago. He originally applied for the job thinking we would need the extra income and insurance to pay for Mom’s medicines. God opened all the doors and we knew He was leading Dad to take the job. About two weeks later, we found out that all Mom’s medications would be paid for for at least two or three more years. We began to question God’s timing: “Why did Dad have to get a job so soon when we weren’t going to need the extra income/insurance for several more years?” “Why couldn’t he have stayed home at least until Amber finished highschool?” But God knew. He knew we would need the insurance for my medical bills. He knew Dad would need to have some time in at work so he could get the days off he needed to go to dr. appointments with me. GOD IS GOOD!
MOUTH: Sunday and Monday, my mouth was really sore. They say that mouth sores are common with chemotherapy, but that’s not what I had. My whole mouth hurt. It is difficult to describe because it is like nothing I’d ever experienced before. It was kind of like my mouth was hyper-sensitive, making it painful to eat, drink, talk, or even swallow. I was bummed. Four months was beginning to feel like an eternity and I wondered how I was ever going to make it that long. This morning, I woke up and my mouth doesn’t hurt! It still feels a little strange, but it is no longer painful! Praise God! Four months doesn’t seem like such a long time after all.
MOON: My family got up at 3:30 this morning to watch the lunar eclipse. About 3:50am, the shadow of the earth began to cover a tiny sliver of the moon. By 5am, the moon was completely covered. It was beautiful! Indeed,
“The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork.”
-Psalm 19:1
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( 2.9 / 65 )Last night we had a great jam here at the house. Seventeen people came, both musicians and listeners. I was able to play for about 2 1/2 hours before my arm got too tired. People were still here picking and grinning until about midnight. The music was wonderful threapy. I love how it brings people of all generations and backgrounds together in harmony. Many of our friends did not know one another until last night, yet we were all joined in our mutual love for music... and maybe my family.
This afternoon, a bunch of ladies from my church threw a surprise HAT PARTY for me. We had desserts and fellowship and HATS! They had each gone shopping to find me cool hats and scarves to wear when my hair falls out. I have directions for tieing scarves and a whole bunch of hats to get me started! I'm almost excited for my hair to fall out-- well, not quite, but I'm determined to have fun once it does!!
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( 2.8 / 63 )I just got my second Neupagen shot. I am getting them at the hospital here in town. Since I hate shots so much, Amber started calling them my "Twinkle Juice" instead of "shots". It makes me feel so much better about life to call it by a nicer name... hehe. Yesterday, the shot made me really nauseated when they gave it, but I think it was because my blood pressure was low. Today it didn't bother me much. I am learning to be okay with the idea of shots-- I mean Twinkle Juice-- but I still don't like it very much! I've gotta do what I've gotta do though.
I am feeling okay. I'm not too lively or energetic, but I don't feel really sick. Just drained. I am taking short walks and trying to get out and about. Short trips to Wal-Mart, etc. are nice. Visits from friends are great.
Tonight we're having a jam session here at the house. My right arm is still pretty sore from the porta-cath surgery so I don't know how much I'll feel like playing. Music is great therapy though, so even if I just listen it will be healing. I'm so thankful that God has given me the gift of music in my life!
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( 3 / 66 )I had my first chemo treatment this afternoon. Everything went very well. We spent the first hour learning about the chemo drugs and their possible side effects and what kinds of things to look for while I am on the treatment.
My chemo is called "ABVD". Each letter stands for the name of a drug: Adriamycin, Bleomycin, Vinblastine, and Dacarbazine (DTIC). They also give me a steroid and anti-nausea drug before each treatment to help prevent some of the worst side-effects. The treatments are given in Salina (about an hour drive from here). They told me that my biggest complaint will probably be fatigue. They said it is important to stay as active as possible, but also to take breaks and naps as often as needed. Other side effects are possible, but vary greatly from person to person.
The actual chemo therapy took about 2 1/2 hours. My port was left accessed yesterday after the surgery, so they didn't have to poke me to start the chemo. Everything goes directly into the vein, and I did not feel any discomfort, except the general soreness from surgery yesterday!
The end of the treatment when they took out the needle from my port was by far the worst part. They had used plastic tape to hold the needle and IV in place. I'm allergic to plastic tape, so my skin was broke out and it hurt when my nurse pulled off the tape. Then, my nurse was so concerned about trying not to hurt me as she pulled off the tape that she forget to flush my port before she took the needle out. So she ended up sticking me just to flush it out. It hurt; I cried. But the pain didn't last too long.
I have been home all evening and have not had any ill side-effects so far. I am wide-awake from the steroid, but that should wear off by tomorrow. Please pray that the side-effects from the chemotherapy will be minimal. We believe that God can make this a relatively easy treatment, and I definitely believe in the power of prayer!!
Starting tomorrow, I will have to get shots of a drug called Neupagen. It helps my bone marrow produce more white blood cells so that I am less susceptible to infection. What happens when a person is on chemo is the chemo attacks all rapidly-dividing cells. Cancer cells are rapidly-dividing, so it kills them; but, it also kills other rapidly-dividing cells like hair follicles and bone marrow. That's why I'll lose my hair (probably in 2-4 weeks it will start falling out). And my white blood counts would drop dramatically, greatly increasing the risk of infection which can be very dangerous to cancer patients! The Neupagen shots keep this from happening by stimulating the bone marrow to create lots of extra white blood cells. But, it means getting a shot every day for at least the first week, and possibly up to 10 days after each treatment. I HATE SHOTS!!! I don't mind them taking my blood. I'm even getting used to the IVs. BUT I HATE SHOTS!!!
We are going to try to get permission from the insurance company to administer the shots at home. My mom already gives herself an injection every other day, which is very similar to what mine will be. If my family can give me the shots, we will still be able to travel as much as we want and continue doing the things that are important to us. We think it will also be less expensive than going to the hospital every day. Please pray that our insurance company will approve it!
On a much happier note, Amber had been a scheming, secretive sister all day long. When I got home, I discovered that several of our friends broke in this afternoon and decorated our living room with streamers, balloons, and happy messages! Thanks Sara and Mattie (and anyone else involved!!!) I also got a really cool care-package in the mail yesterday with lots of things to keep me smiling! There was also yarn and directions for knitting a scarf, but my first attempt at that didn't go so well; I'm going to have to get some lessons from someone who knows what they're doing! Thanks Bethany!!!
If any of you are interested in more details about certain aspects of my treatments or have any questions, please feel free to write me. It may take me a while to respond, but I will do my best to answer any questions or concerns you have. By helping you understand, it also helps me grow in my knowledge, so please don't hesitate to write or call or visit! I thank you again for all your prayers, notes, phone calls, and visits. They really mean a lot to me!!
God is continuously faithful and He is definitely teaching me a lot about myself through this process. Life is a journey and God is my guide. I walk it one step at a time. It is good to have friends like you to support me on my journey and encourage me along the way.
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