Here are some of the highlights of the past week:
Last week, I worked at the church Tuesday - Friday afternoon. It was a nice way to get out of the house and still be productive. I got to make copies, fold paper, answer the phones, and other fun secretary stuff-- and get paid!
Thursday evening, we had a family over for dinner, and they brought the food! It was great to see them and catch up on what God has been doing in each of our lives. They have two young children, so it was fun to have the energy of youth in our home again! Thanks Josh & Shallyn!
Saturday, dad had the day off work! We have been working on re-modeling the living room (I know, it's not great timing, but when is a great time to remodel?). We spent the day Saturday ripping out the carpet and preparing the floor for stage 2. There was wood flooring underneath. Most of it is in really good shape, so we decided to sand and re-finish it. The area by the entry-way was not in such nice condition, so we're going to put ceramic tile there. By the end of the day, we were all pooped, but we got a lot accomplished.
Sunday evening, Dad & I went to see the Wichita State University Symphony concert in Salina. My friend Erin plays flute with the symphony. It was good to see her, and I really enjoyed the concert. It was fun to do something just me and Daddy too. Our family has been doing a lot of things together, but it had been quite a while since Dad & I did anything just the 2 of us. We had a great discussion of good books and movies and things that make us think on the way home!
Last night I had community band rehearsal. I play percussion (Sterling College ruined me) and am really enjoying it. Our first concert is Sunday, November 11th at 2pm. If you're in the area, you should come see us. I think it's going to be a good concert, with a variety of music.
Tomorrow I have chemo again. I see my dr. at 11:30 and have chemo following that. It's Halloween, so our family is dressing up for the occasion-- I'll post pictures.
My chemo nurses have high expectations since our family does something crazy even when it isn't Halloween. I'll leave you with a quote from a card I received last week. "When life gives you a rainy day... find a puddle to splash in!"
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( 3 / 87 )I've been thinking a lot lately. Especially Sunday. My mouth hurt really bad, which kept me from talking very much. Therefore I became rather introspective. Everything is still pretty jumbled inside my brain. As I get things sorted out, I will have much more to write. Until then, here are some random thoughts:
*I find it easy to see God's purpose in my own sufferings, but grapple with finding purpose for other's sufferings.
*I'm a total wimp; God is my strength. Strength does not come from within me, but from Above.
*I am beginning to better understand how Paul could praise God in the midst of terrible trials. Through this time, I have felt God's presence in a more real & intimate way than ever before. How can I not praise Him?
*God is still completely control. Hodgkin's Disease may have been a surprise to me, but it was NOT to God. It has been part of His plan for my life, since before I was born. And He has a purpose for sending me through it.
*I want to always be real & genuine. If I don't ask you how you are doing or take the time to say hello, it is because I don't have the energy to genuinely care right then and I refuse to be fake. Ok, sometimes I still am, because our society expects us to be polite even when it isn't genuine; but I really feel passionate about being more real with people. Something I'm working on...
*It takes vulnerability to be real, and that is a scary thing. We have to show our hurts along with our joys.
*God is good. Period. Not because of what He does, but because it is who He is.
*It's ok to question God. He's big enough to handle any question we throw at Him. He's always got an answer-- just be prepared, cuz you might not like His answers!
*Never regret anything that made you smile-- and certainly not anything that made you laugh out loud.
*Do something completely random everyday. And don't forget to praise God for the wonderous things He does!
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Now for some actual news:
My trip to Sterling was wonderful. I got to see the musical-- "Into the Woods"-- on friday night. Everyone did so well! I spent the night with Grandma & Grandpa in Hutch and got to see my Aunt Debbie and cousin Angela briefly. Then back to Sterling on Saturday for 4 hours of hanging out with my fantastic friends. It was so good to see them all again!
Saturday night we went to see one of our favorite bands-- "Cadillac Sky"-- at Mayberry's in Washington, KS. Our good friends Mike & Jo and Brandon, came with us. It was a wonderful evening of fellowship and great music. I was dog-tired by the time we got home, but I wouldn't have traded it for anything.
Sunday and Monday were a lazy day. I read and wrote and thought a lot, but didn't do much else.
This morning, Amber & I played for "Mothers Hour" at Branfordt Covenant Church by Clyde, KS. Our good friend Sue was speaking and she invited us to play a few songs first. Her testimony of God's faithfulness through her own trials was really inspiring & encouraging to me today.
This afternoon and every afternoon this week, I'm working at the church filling in for our secretary. I get to answer the phones and use the spiffy copy machine-- and I get paid to do it! Woo Hoo!! :)
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( 2.9 / 68 )I don't have anything profound or exciting to say. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes it takes all my energy to just move my foot... but somehow God always gives me the strength I need for right now. Hey, I even managed to take a shower this morning!
The past two days, I didn't move off the couch a lot-- my normal right-after-chemo routine. Last night I watched the movie "One Night with the King" about Queen Esther. It made me think about God's providence in putting us into situations for "such a time as this" even when we don't understand. I do believe that God has a purpose for having me go through all of this. Someday--when I get to heaven if not before-- His purpose will be revealed and it will make sense. Until then, I just have to keep trusting in Him.
Tonight, Mom & I are going to Sterling for homecoming weekend. I'm excited to see some of my college friends. God really blessed me with some wonderful friendships while I was at Sterling. Amber is staying home to have some time for herself. She sacrifices so much to make sure I am taken care of. I'm glad she can have some time off this weekend. Dad is working all weekend, as usual. Saturday night we're all going to see Cadillac Sky (one of our favorite bluegrass bands) at Mayberry's in Washington, KS. I pray that I will have the energy to do everything I want to this weekend. It is difficult when I want to do everything like I always have, but I have to realize that I simply cannot. I am learning to pace myself. It's just one foot after the other...
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( 3 / 63 )We just got back from chemo #5. I'm feeling a wee bit drugged--imagine that!
-- but I wanted to post the CT results. They were okay, but not quite what we had hoped for. It turns out that there were some miscommunications between us and the dr., so our expectations weren't correct... the CT results were what my dr. was expecting, but it wasn't what we were expecting.The CT showed the lymphnodes in my chest had shrunk about 50%. That means the chemo is doing its job, but it still needs more time to work. I now have to have a total of 12 doses of chemo, instead of the 8 we were originally hoping for. That means I won't be finished with chemo until late January, instead of by Christmas. I am dissapointed, but right now doing okay with it. It is difficult for me to remain positive about going for more chemo, knowing that each time I get it, it will make me feel really cruddy for almost a week. It's like willingly giving yourself the flu every other week.
I had a really difficult "vampire" bite today too (that's my blood work). They had to stick my 3 times to get enough blood. Each time the stuck me, they would get so much blood and then it would just stop. The girls in lab were really nice, but my right arm is beginning to feel like a pin cushion. They said the chemo is really hard on my veins, and the longer I'm on it, the worse it will get. They want me drinking a lot more water, so now Amber is trying to come up with creative ways to get me to drink more without me complaining too much.
In spite of it all, I am still determined to stay as up-beat about it as I can. I want to continue doing fun things each time I go in for chemo-- if you have any good ideas, please share them. This week I dressed all in smiley-faces and took my "Happy Fun Box" filled with all kinds of smiley toys (slinkeys, paddle-ball, bouncy balls, & stickers-- thanks Ben!). I gave them my dr., lab technicians, nurses, and the other patients getting chemo today. I figure I'm either going to laugh or cry every time I go in, and I like laughing better. Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of times when I cry too, but I'm not letting chemo be one of those.
I continue to rely on God for my strength. He will sustain me day by day, as He has been doing. I am reminded of Isaiah 40:31- "But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint."
Finally, I want to thank all of you who continue to encourage me with notes on my guestbook, e-mails, cards, phone calls, and visits. Especially during the week after chemo when I don't feel good and sometimes don't want to go on, your caring gestures give me the strength and hope to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I still have many hard days ahead of me, but by focusing on living today, I know I will get through it. Thank you for your support and continued prayers!!!
~Enjoy Life~
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( 3.1 / 73 )Amber & I had a wonderful weekend in the Springfield, MO area. We stayed with our dear friends, the Fuchs' and had many fun times with them. I laughed more than I had in a long time. It was good to get away and relax and be silly.
Friday, we left at 9am and arrived at the Fuchs' house about 6pm. In the evening, we played "Sticky Situations" and a couple other games with them and friends Kim & Beth. That morphed into a long conversation that didn't end until about 3:00 in the morning!
Saturday during the day we hung out around the house. Amber was excited to get some good tips on cooking without sugar or dairy. The Fuchs' have done a lot of "weird" diets so they had a lot of info to share with us. John-- who designed this site-- helped us figure out how to put up pictures and did some work on the Guestbook. I took a nice nap too.
Saturday evening, we got to go to Ryan Fuchs' 2nd birthday party. Amber & I have been dubbed "honorary aunts", so it was special to share his birthday with him-- and also meet some of the extended family. Once again, we played games and talked late into the night.
Sunday, we went to church with the Fuchs'. It was a wonderful service, and God definitely convicted me of a few things-- but that's for another blog. We got to meet several other homeschool alumni & friends of the Fuchs'. After a yummy lunch and a few tunes, we headed home about 2pm. We made it home safe and sound about 9:30 last night. The trip was long, but it was totally worth it! Thanks to everyone who made our weekend really special!
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This morning, I had my CT scan of my chest & neck. They did it with and without contrast, which means they had to give me an IV. It took her a while to find my vein-- I think I'm gonna have a good shiner on my arm! I will get the results on Wednesday before I get chemo #5. Continue to pray for good results!
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